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Sand Sharks (2011)

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1 Sand Sharks (2011) on 19th January 2012, 2:21 am


Why the fuck did I watch this?

I took one look at the poster, wondered how terrible it could possibly be, found a stream, and good fucking god.

It's awful.

Basically imagine Jaws combined with Tremors. The sharks can swim through fucking sand.

Aside from being a ridiculous idea to begin with, the idea was poorly executed. Most notably by the horrendous CGI. The acting was primarily horrific. I get the feeling that the dialogue was written by someone who grew up in the 90's back when "hella" and "rad" and other similar phrases were used commonly by cunting college kids.

So there are points in the movie where I kinda questioned whether or not this was simply a joke. If this whole movie was just a joke. But I had to face the reality that in some respect at least, they actually tried to make this a proper movie.

It's really the scenes of nonchalant behavior such as one where a fucking severed head of a dear friend is lying under a trailer. They all notice it and start screaming, but for some reason, out of the three, the black man is the only one suggesting they call the police.

Then when he walks off to go tell the police, some bitch knocks him out, and later pushes him into a shark as it randomly surfaces.

(Both you and I don't care that I just spoiled that scene so fuck off.)

As for the sharks themselves, the idea is unrealistic to the point of not being able to really even enjoy the film in a fantasy mindset.

It was mildly entertaining, I'll admit, but more in a non-serious, "lmao what the fuck is this" sense.

For that, I'll give it 1.5 stars. Certainly not the worst I've seen, but it's close.




2 Re: Sand Sharks (2011) on 19th January 2012, 2:37 am


LMAO. Fucking horrible.

Hi, do you have ants in your yard?
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